LEVEL 6 ZOOM
WEEK 4 EXERCISES
EXERCISE #1
Irony Humor!
1. I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with em’ later.
2. A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
3. An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
6. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.
7. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
8. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
9. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
10. Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
11. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
12. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
13. Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.
14. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
15. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
16. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
17. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
18. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.
19. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
20. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
21. When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
22. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
23. I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
24. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
25. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
26. He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.
27.Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
28. I had plastic surgery last week – I cut up my credit cards.
29.Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
30. My family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
31. It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.
32. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.
33.Can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
34. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
35.When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
36.Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?
37.According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.
38. It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
39.Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
40. If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
41. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
42. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
43. Always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
exercise #2
Fortunately, Unfortunately
(Practicing: agreement, Imagination)
IMPORTANT:
Each Actor is to bring at least 2 created statements to bring to class.
The first improviser says a statement starting with “fortunately…” Then, the next improviser finds a way to yes, and that statement while twisting it to something unfortunate, starting their line with “unfortunately…”
The first person will respond with another “fortunately” statement (in direct response to the previous statement), followed by “unfortunately,” etc. The goal is to tell a kind of story with these statements, ending when you come to a natural conclusion.
For example:
Player 1:
Fortunately, I got a surprise letter in the mail today!
Player 2:
Unfortunately, the letter was an overdue bill.
Player 1:
Fortunately, I had just gotten paid that day.
Player 2:
Unfortunately, your hot water heater stopped working, and you had to spend your paycheck to get a new one.
exercise #3
Questions Only
Great for practicing: asking questions that move the scene forward
This two-person improv game involves only speaking in questions for the whole scene. That’s it. You cannot repeat questions, and you should still try to move the scene forward with a positive outcome.
1. I want to go out dancing tonight?
2. I like to go swimming?
3. I have a lot of patience?
4. I like to tell jokes?
5. My favorite movie is the Terminator?
6. I like an apartment more than a house?
7. I like to listen to Michael Jackson?
8. I’m going to be a millionaire?
9. I really like dogs?
10. I’m going on vacation?
11. I like to live in the big city?
12. I’m not a quitter?
13. I like Cocoa Puffs?
14. I drink apple cider vinegar?
15. I’ve never been single as an adult?
16. I went to Las Vegas?
17. I’m an optimist?
18. I like run in the morning?
19. I help people save money on insurance?
20. I’m a good listener?
exercise #4
Cell Phones
IMPORTANT:
Performed between 5 actors.
Actors, Use irony & humor!
Actor #1
You know, everyone nowadays has a cell phone.
It's like their lives orbit around that rectangular piece of steel... and it's not even a sphere!
Actor #2
I can’t disagree though… I’m one of those people that just can’t part with their phone. Every few minutes I’ll be checking my phone. (mimes checking phone) Oh look! I have… zero missed calls, zero new texts, the Facebook frontier is quiet…
Actor #3
Then I remember I’ve had zero incoming calls, zero texts, and I have three friends on Facebook: mom, dad, and grandma. I used to have four but then grandpa died.
Actor #4
Anyways, I’ll still be sitting there, or standing there, no difference, with my phone, just messing around with it.
Actor #5
I have one of those sliding phones… (towards camera) how many of you guys have those sliding phones?
Actor #1
Well you guys know how addicting it is to just slide the phone back and forth? *click, clack, click, clack*
It’s lots of fun until suddenly, I get a call from my mom wondering why I called.
Actor #2
*Hello? Oh hi Mom….no I didn’t mean to call you…no I’m not at a bar right now…yes I know I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend…no need to rub it in…no! do not set me up with someone! Um I really have to go um…make dinner. Yes, at 2AM! Love you (shake head mouthing not really). Bye!*
Actor #3
Later on, I’m going to bed…getting real sleepy…*ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT*
I jumped out of bed, wide awake, grab the gun I always keep by me in case my feelings get hurt or something...you know.
Actor #4
I’m going around corners like they do in the movies, looking all cool like James Bond in his dino jammies. I get the the room where I still hear *ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT!* going off…and I realize it was my phone.
Actor #5
Nothing like a text alert full volume at 3 in the morning to get the blood flowing!
Someone actually texted me! It was…my Mom.
Let’s see…I read my mom’s message first. It says that grandma died. Damnit! Now I only have two friends on Facebook.