LEVEL 6 ZOOM
WEEK 2 EXERCISES
EXERCISE #1
Comedy 1 Liners-Punch Lines
IMPORTANT:
Actors, pick 2 of your favorite 1-liners and rehearse them as if you were doing standup comedy. THE EMPHASIS SHOULD BE ON THE PUNCHLINE DELIVERY
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password? 1 forest 1.
What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He's fully recovered.
Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay? A deviled egg.
Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord? He thought he could socket to him.
Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on so many levels.
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted.
How do moths swim? Using the butterfly stroke.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles.
Do you know the story about the chicken that crossed the border? Me neither, I couldn't follow it.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
Where do baby cats learn to swim? The kitty pool.
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
How can a leopard change his spots? By moving.
It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
Can February March? No, but April May!
How can you tell it's a dogwood tree? From the bark.
How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable.
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
What did the Sun do to Keith and Bobby? It made Keith Sweat and Bobby Brown!
You know why ants don’t get sick? Because they have “little antybodies.”
exercise #2
The Phone Call
(90 Seconds)
IMPORTANT:
Actors, pick a person that you know really well-Family member or Friend and call them on the phone. Have a conversation with them about something really funny. Your responses to the person you are talking to will be based on what the person on the other end of the phone is saying to you. Make the conversation as humorous as possible (gossip, scandal, etc.)
exercise #3
Song Improv
IMPORTANT:
Improvise a few bars of one of your favorite songs. Do not use any of the original words Humor is a plus!
exercise #4
TGI Tuesday
Waiter:
Hi welcome, we like to make sure our customer is satisfied here at TGI…
Customer:
Yeah that's fine and dandy but I don't care. Can I get a coke?
Waiter:
Oh is Pepsi okay?
Customer:
You know what I’ll just get a burger.
Waiter:
Ribs okay?
Customer:
Just tell me where the restroom is.
Waiter:
Is the lavatory okay?
Customer:
Whatever just tell me where it is!
Waiter:
Okay you are going to take a left and the bathroom is on the right, unless you are sitting on the left side then the lavatory is on the LEFT and the bathroom is on the right.
Customer:
Let me speak to your manager.
Waiter:
Supervisor okay?
Supervisor:
Is there a problem Sir/Ma’am?
Customer:
Yes this waiter has really been annoying me!
Waiter:
Is pestering okay?
Customer:
See he won’t give me what I want.
Waiter:
Is what you need okay?
Customer:
See?
Supervisor:
I can’t see but I have examined your perspective.
Customer:
I have been completely unsatisfied!
Supervisor:
That is unacceptable, here at T.G.I Tuesday-
Customer:
Wait I thought this was TGI Friday’s
Supervisor:
Oh no, we are their spin off, TGI Tuesdays!
Customer:
Okay I’ll just go to Olive Garden.
Waiter:
Is Sizzler okay?
Customer:
You know what, yes it’s okay.
Waiter:
Oh sorry, it’s closed.
Customer:
(yells)
I can’t take it anymore, I can’t have Coke I have to have Pepsi, I can’t have a burger I have to have ribs, I can’t use the bathroom, I have to use the lavatory, I can’t even talk to the manager I have to settle for a supervisor?
Supervisor:
Hey I’m right here.
Customer:
I don’t care anymore I just want to eat, I’m going to McDonalds!
Waiter:
Is Burger King okay?
Customer:
NO!!!!!!